Divine
Providence
A different vision about death
Testimony of Catalina
on the Sacraments of Reconciliation
and the Anointing of the Sick
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Copyright © 2004 by The
Great Crusade of Love and Mercy.
All rights reserved. This
booklet is published in coordination with The Apostolate of the New
Evangelization.
It has beed translated from the original July 2003 Spanish edition
published in Mexico.
Permission is granted
to reproduce this booklet in its entirety with no changes or additions and as long
as the reproduction and distribution is done solely on a not-for-profit basis.
This document is
available at no cost online and can be downloaded and printed from the
following Web Sites:
in English at: www.greatcrusade.org
and Spanish at:
www.grancruzada.org
For information on
ordering printed copies of this booklet and other books and videos, please
write to the independent, non-profit, religious educational ministry:
Love and Mercy Publications
P.O. Box 857, Lithonia, Georgia
30058 USA
or visit this ministry’s Internet Site at:
www.loveandmercy.org
Please Share this Gift !
If Jesus speaks to your heart as you read this book, please
share these words by photocopying to
disseminate it to
people who want to open their hearts
to the New Evangelization. Invoke the Holy Spirit so It guides and grants you
the gifts that you need for a
good conversion.
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Table of
Contents
|
Recommendation by the Archbishop Emeritus
of Cochabamba |
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Introduction |
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Part
One - Death, Sorrow and hope |
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Chapter
I |
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The consolation
of the Lord |
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Chapter
II |
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You are never
alone |
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The assistance of
Mary, our Mother |
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Chapter
III |
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The preparation
of the spirit |
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Jesus, an
ever-living presence |
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First the Will of
God |
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Chapter
IV |
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The day of the Sacred Heart, the time to
say goodbye |
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I must go; let me
go! |
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Chapter
V |
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Her inheritance: Charity, Humility,
Courage |
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Pain and Mercy |
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Chapter
VI |
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The tender
embrace of the Mother |
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Chapter
VII |
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Part
Two: The Sacrament of Reconciliation |
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Chapter
VIII |
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Chapter
IX |
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The gift granted
to a priest |
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A brief
concluding reflection |
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The
following is the English
translation of the recommendation of this book by the Archbishop Emeritus of
Cochabamba:
Mons. René Fernández
A. Tel:
4-4533926 Fax; 4- 523928
C. P. 129 Avenida Ballivián
737 E-mail: Monrefe@hotmail.com
Cochabamba, Bolivia
We have read the contents of this booklet, where
Catalina describes a spiritual experience in the face of her sorrow for the deaths
of her brother and her mother, and found a collection of salutary teachings
about the Infinite Mercy of God during the supreme moment of life. This booklet leads us in part to meditate on
the meaning of death, which according to Divine Revelation, is human life’s
definitive passage towards the other, the supernatural life established by God
Himself. Death is the end and the fate
of all because all of us, without exception, are subject to dying and to having
a new life. This writing emphasizes
above all, the forgiveness that God grants to those who [approach Him] with a
contrite heart, even at the moment of one’s final breath; in the same manner as
when the wrongdoer, hanging beside the Cross, where Jesus is dying, receives
the reward of Paradise, solely for having acknowledged his sins and implored
His Divine Mercy.
The reality of the death of our dear ones fills us
with great suffering, but our own faith and the certitude of the resurrection
bring comfort to our sorrow, turning it into spiritual joy and profound peace
in our spirit. Catalina’s present
account leads us to the consideration of these issues, which without any doubt
will significantly influence our walk towards the ultimate point of our lives. God awaits us all, but not all become worthy
of the Divine benefits. The scene of
the agony of Catalina’s mother, although it constitutes a moment of deep
sorrow, it is nonetheless a wondrous moment, glorified by the presence of the
Lord, Who is ready to receive her in His Holy Kingdom along with the choir of
angels that surrounds her at that supreme moment. If the transitory, human victory fills those who attain it with
intense satisfaction and delight, how much more would our soul be filled with
infinite delight by the knowledge that right at the point of death is the
victory over death itself. This is the
scene that we live through Catalina’s account, who, facing sorrow and anguish
for her beloved mother’s death, feels profound pleasure knowing that the woman,
who brought her to the world, is crossing from this earth into eternity
accompanied by Christ, by the Virgin Mary, our Mother, by God’s angels, going
to receive the crown of victory.
May God in His Infinite Mercy grant us repentance from
our sins and accord us His forgiveness so that we may obtain a holy death. What Catalina has expressed [in this
booklet] will instil into the persons who read it with attention and without
prejudice, reassurance and complete confidence in the Mercy of God. At the same time, it will serve to place
utmost importance in the need to establish a covenant with God through the
Sacrament of Forgiveness.
These considerations move me to recommend the reading
of this small booklet, which will produce a valuable spiritual fruit.
- Signed -
+ René Fernández A.
Archbishop Emeritus of Cochabamba
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“Strengthen yourselves with
prayer, because at the time to render an account before My presence you will be
alone and naked… with your hands full or empty”
[Jesus to Catalina – June 2003]
In my
mom’s memory…
+June 27,
2003
Feast day
of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Our Lady of Perpetual Help
In memory
of my brother Carlos…
+ June 7,
2003
On the eve
of Pentecost Sunday and the First Saturday of the month….
…. They
left us an example of love and peace, offering their pains and sufferings
for the salvation of souls
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“And when Jesus had said this, he showed them his
hands and his side. The disciples
therefore were glad, when they saw the Lord.
He said therefore to them again, ‘Peace be to you. As the Father has sent me, I also send you.’
When he had said this, he breathed on them; and he
said to them, ‘Receive you the Holy Spirit.
Whose sins you shall forgive they are forgiven them; and whose sins you
shall retain they are retained.’ ”
(John 20: 20-23)
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Introduction
Dear brother and sister reader,
You have in your hand the experience of one who is
your sister, who by order of the Lord shares with you profound life experiences
that are important for the soul of every human being.
We, who have been following her experiences for years,
offer you a sincere testimony about the authenticity and validity of these
words. We believe that this divine gift
answers the need to offer men and women greater information about these
subjects, which modern thought treats with too much superficiality.
Death does not mean the frustration of life. It is rather the “birth to eternal life”,
but man rebels against it, he defies it, and, in many cases, he rejects
it. Thus, he demonstrates insufficient
preparation to face an outcome that points the fate of his soul toward living
eternity with God or forever away from Him.
This outcome is written into the existence of every
man since his conception, be he a believer or not. We will all have to face death and, there, the process of
defining our fate will come to a close.
This present account alerts us to the importance of
living in the grace of God, of availing ourselves without fear of the loving
embrace of Jesus Christ through the means that He himself has instituted:
Confession, the Eucharist, and the Anointing of the sick, Sacraments that heal,
sanctify, and restore the state of grace.
Consequently, we invite all the brothers and sisters
who are willing to listen, to not wait too long to return to the Lord… For who can guarantee that tomorrow you will
have the time to do it? Run to the
fountains of grace! Contemplate the
Cross again and bow down before Jesus, the God of Love, Who is only awaiting
the return of His children, safe and sound.
The Editors
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The following books, dictated
by Jesus and the Virgin Mary to Catalina (Katya) Rivas in Spanish, have been
translated and published in English as of May 2004:
· “The
Passion” of Jesus Christ
· “Words of Jesus and Mary” including: The Holy Mass; a Holy
Hour devotion before the Blessed
Sacrament; Divine Providence concerning death and the Sacrament of Mercy, Reconciliation (this text) and
meditations for The Stations of the Cross
· “The
Great Crusade of Love”
· “The
Door to Heaven”
In addition the following book
will be available by September 2004:
· “From Sinai to Calvary”, Jesus’ explanation of the
profund meaning of His seven last words from the Cross
All the published books are
available at www.greatcrusade.org
for reading and printing on a personal computer at no cost. For ordering printed versions of the books,
please visit this Web site or write to:
Love and Mercy Publications
P.O. Box 857
Lithonia,
Georgia 30058
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Part One
Death, Sorrow and hope
But
God said to him: Thou Fool, this night do they require thy soul of thee and
whose shall those things be which thou hast provided? So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich
towards God.
(Luke 12: 20-21)
Chapter I
Love knocks at my door
|
A |
t the end of the month of May, I travelled to Orange County
(California) in the United States to fulfil a commitment, accompanied by my
spiritual director and a couple, who are very dear friends of ours. At that time my mother was very sick, and
our Lord asked me to take care of purchasing the black clothes for my family’s
mourning.
I telephoned home to inquire about the condition of my
mother’s health, and I was told that it was stable. I was also informed that my brother Carlos would be arriving to
be with us during these days so difficult for us.
Even though I knew that it was not the most important
thing, having to look for black clothes for my family’s mourning, it was a very
special experience because it had to do with the death of someone I loved, in
this case I thought of my mother. By
the way that the Lord was guiding me, I understood that I should be preparing
my spirit, and my state of mind and that of my family.
A few days earlier, the Lord had asked my spiritual
director and me, to make one hour of nightly adoration in reparation for our
sins, the sins of our families, and the sins of the whole world for a period of
one month.
On the 6th of June, two days before
Pentecost, the Lord dictated to me as He normally does some biblical quotes for
us to meditate on. Then He added:
“Ask for special help to do the housework for
Saturday; I need you almost in seclusion in communion with Me.”
I understood that the Lord did not want me distracted
in other matters, because I had to be available to Him, to pray and to wait on
Him to speak to me. I was told that my
brother Carlos might not be arriving yet because he had had a kidney problem.
On Saturday morning June 7th, the eve of
Pentecost the Lord said after the prayers of Laudes [“The Hours”]:
“I want you to be available; do not think of other
matters. I am counting on you both; let
the others do whatever they have planned.
It is necessary that you know how to act calmly and firmly. What is important is the love expressed in
all that you do.”
During our morning prayers, a person visited my
spiritual director and I to join with us in prayer. Later my son arrived with the terrible and unexpected news that
my brother Carlos had died in Bolivia, my native country.
I ran before the Blessed Sacrament and I began to cry,
asking the Lord why had He taken my brother at a time when he was not
prepared. For that is what I
thought. I was worried because my
brother, who was divorced, had now remarried to a second wife and could not
receive Holy Communion. That situation
made him suffer very much, given that he had begun to be part of our
apostolate, and a life of intense prayer.
We could not share this news with my mother, as she
was in the final stages of her illness.
We decided that I was to travel back to Bolivia with my son the next
day. I returned to my room to pray for
his soul. I asked for mercy so that he
would not be lost and that my prayers would arrive in time to intercede for his
salvation.
The
consolation of the Lord
|
I |
nexplicably, I began to feel a profound peace, and an inner
joy so immense that I felt like laughing and singing. My reaction frightened me and I asked the Lord to guide me
through what was happening to me.
Then He said to me: “Look at Me!”
I held my gaze on the crucifix next to my bed. It started to illuminate itself, and the
Lord continued:
“Again I tell you:
Can you not see Me with My arms outstretched wide in front of you? …
Your father and brother are already next to Me… with Me, because My Mercy
covered them. That is your joy; he is
already saved.” [Note: Catalina uses “...” in this book to indicate either a pause in
the dictation or a need to pause in reading to reflect upon the words.]
Later during the evening meal, we were talking about my
brother’s death, and the Lord dictated a biblical verse to us, Acts 7:55-56,
which says thus: “But he, being full of the Holy Ghost, looking up steadfastly
to heaven, saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing the right hand of God. And he said: Behold, I see the heavens
opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God.’ ”
In reading that verse, I felt even more
comforted. My spiritual director
celebrated a Mass for my brother that night.
I had asked the Lord to let me know the state of my brother’s soul, to
allow me to feel something, and He, in His infinite Mercy, permitted me to
interiorly hear my brother’s voice telling me that he was very happy. It sounded extraordinarily joyous and
enthusiastic.
The next day, Sunday the 8th, as I was getting
ready to leave for his funeral, and preparing my luggage, my left arm and chest
began to hurt. I spoke with my family
in Bolivia, and they advised me not to go, as under such difficult
circumstances, they feared my health would worsen. Even so, I had a deep desire to be by his side. He had been like a son to me. He was six years younger than I was, and he
called me ‘mommy’.
As always, I decided to place everything in the hands
of the Lord, asking for Him to guide me.
I entered my mother’s room for her to bless me before travelling, saying
that I had to be absent overseas. But
she began to cry as never before and she asked me not to travel, that she loved
me very much and she needed me. I then
understood that it was the Lord’s Will that I should not travel. My son would go in my place. My daughter was already taking care of the
situation, and my husband was preparing the place for the wake. The decision was for me very painful, but I
had to choose to remain by my mother’s side, to spend with her what were to be
her last days.
Chapter II
Conversion, a sweet present from God
|
L |
ater we heard that when Carlos was returning to my country after having visited us in
January, he had asked a priest to hear his confession, telling him on his own
that he understood that while he could not receive absolution, nonetheless he
was already atoning for his sins with much repentance, and that he knew he was
confessing to God through the priest, and that he was appealing to His infinite
Mercy.
He asked the priest for prayers, because he was hoping
to quickly settle the requirements for having his marriage declared null. He eagerly desired to avail himself of a
formal Confession and receive the awaited absolution. He wanted to receive Holy Communion to unite himself to the
spiritual experience that we all lived.
By his conduct and conversion, he had already begun to make reparations
for the errors in his past life.
Subsequently I learned that he prayed the Rosary every
day with the family. He did physical
exercises for his heart problem, and during his walks he would complete all
fifteen Mysteries of the Holy Rosary.
Every Sunday he and his family would visit a Marian shrine where he
participated in the Holy Mass. After
the celebration, they would remain for another half an hour in Adoration before
the Blessed Sacrament.
Regrettably, his death came unexpectedly after a very
short but sudden and devastating illness.
A heart attack ended his life.
No one had suspected the seriousness of his condition. Consequently, more emphasis had been placed
on his medical needs. There had not
been enough time to seek spiritual help.
In their last moments, his wife asked him to pray, and shedding a tear,
my brother died.
You are never alone
|
O |
n the 11th of June I was very sad, above
all because I had to hold back my tears, I had to keep myself from crying so
that my mother would not notice anything.
It was difficult for me to accept my young brother’s death and I felt
abandoned. I could see my other brother
suffering a great deal; I had to be strong.
Something happened, I had to hide my pain, as if I had
put aside one thing to accept the imminent death of my mother, for I understood
that she was living her last days. Two
months earlier, on another trip, I surprised myself in assuring my close
friends, that the Lord would take my mother on the day of the Sacred
Heart. I had that idea, that feeling
inside of me, as if it had been written on my flesh.
That night of the 11th of June, after my prayers, the
Lord dictated [the following] to me:
“My daughter, at no time have I abandoned you. I want you to give a great deal of thought
to those nights during which I permitted you to taste a little bit of the
Celestial Paradise.
“Think of the Communion of the Saints and in this way
you will find that the apparent goodbye to your dear brother has to transform
itself into joy for your family, joy that will bring them consolation.
“Remember that the Blessed reflect on all of you their
beatific light and be certain that because of that Ecclesial communion, those
whom have preceded you, departing filled with love, are helping with their
prayers. They are close to all of you
to comfort you in your sorrows, to strengthen you in your trials, to dismantle
the obstacles that you find in your way, and to help you overcome the shrewd
snares that our common adversary usually sets out for you.
“I have prepared you, and I have guided you to lead
your family in the mourning. Would you
have accepted with the same submissiveness if I had told you that the mourning
was for your younger brother? And faced
with the Divine Will, you poor creature, what would you have done?”
The assistance of Mary, our Mother
|
J |
esus continued saying:
“It was My Mother’s work of preparing that soul to be ready
to receive My Mercy. May this
departure, premature in human terms, teach all of you to live with your lamps
lit, seeking your daily holiness, not that which might be seen by man, because
that has no value before My eyes but rather it saddens Me.
“It saddens Me to see an outwardly religious demeanour
in many of My children, who are far from living it, and which serves only the
pursuit of their personal gain. They
deceive people in order to acquire power, and use it to stand out, manipulating
things according to their own whim and fancy.
“And what does Jesus think? That’s what they should be asking themselves when pride, the
spirit of hypocritical criticism, is seizing the soul.
“My little nothing, offer Me all that burden which may
seem to break your strength. There are
so many souls to save! During all this
week, you and Father will make your Hour of night-time Adoration starting on
Thursday, when My Eternal Priesthood is commemorated, until next Thursday
during which you will pray the Rosary, and, with your prayer of reparation, you
will console Me for the many who reject My Eucharistic Heart.
“(…) Strengthen yourselves with prayer, because at the
hour of giving an account in My presence, you will be alone and naked… with
your hands full or empty, (…) Be generous in your personal surrender, beyond
selfishness, revenge, impurity and ingratitude. It is each one’s decision to belong to this group or to ruminate
over the frustration of having failed Me in the things that are truly important
to Me.
“It is very sad to see every instant on earth that
indeed the commandment of love of neighbour is destroyed by selfishness, envy,
hatred, division and, in this way, the dignity of God’s creatures is crushed by
the anvil of interior slavery, which makes them victims of disorderly passions
(…) Hold on very strongly to My Mother’s hand and grant each day its own toil
with the assurance that My Spirit strengthens, encourages and guides yours.
“Do you not believe that My love is infinite, and that
it can fill everything? Smile and rest
in My Heart.”
Chapter III
Illness, Suffering and Relief
|
O |
n the night of the 21st, my mom began to
have very strong pains. We spent the
night together with the nurse, without any rest at all. I was feeling extremely upset in seeing her
suffering. I kept asking the Lord to
allow me to suffer those pains in order to provide relief for her, but I had
the understanding that she had to endure them herself for her
purification. The only thing she kept
repeating along with the moaning about her pain was the phrase, “my Mother, my
Mother!”
On Sunday the 22nd, she suffered a great
deal and she was constantly moaning.
When I was in church, I spoke to the Lord and, praying in front of His
crucifix, I more or less said this to Him: “Lord, from the cross You took pity
on Your Mother’s pain. But I believe
that You did not see Her as I see mine suffer with a continuous ‘ow!’ [a
moan] I beseech You, Jesus, …. may she
live according to Your Will the time that You want, but let her not be in so
much pain. Have pity on her suffering,
because each one of her pains, is like a sword that pierces my heart.” (I asked this of Him as I cried.)
The doctor had prescribed a painkiller to be
administered in drops. When I arrived
home, I administered them to her but I know that it was not the drops, but the
Lord Who took away her pain. He had
granted me what I had asked for during prayer. The pains stopped almost immediately and completely. She did not complain anymore until she died.
The doctor himself was surprised with what had
happened, because he knew that the medication would not have such an immediate,
so intense and prolonged effect.
The preparation of the spirit
|
S |
ome ten days before her death, during a conversation
with my mother, I proposed taking her to the beach so that she may rest a few
days. But at that point she began
telling me that she could “see” this or that person (many whom had already
died). As she had moments in which she
lost lucidity due to her liver condition, we did not pay any attention to it
until she said to have seen my brother, Carlos, who had told her that in Heaven
the ocean was much bigger and more beautiful than on earth.
In that instant I was convinced that she was seeing
people who were no longer in this world (because she had not been told that my
brother had died) and I thought that it was good that these souls would come to
prepare her.
However, in her last days, she also stated that she
was seeing persons who were coming to torment her, who insulted and mistreated
her.
My brother, Eduardo, told her that these were persons
who did not want her to make her [Holy] Communion well, and he suggested that
she cast them out from her side by saying that she belonged to Jesus. We realized that she slept very little, as
if fighting with someone. She would
awake with nightmares and tell us to get rid of those people who were bothering
her.
Because of that situation, we decided that we would
keep the television channel tuned onto Mother Angelica [The EWTN network]
during the day so as to help my mother to keep herself thinking about topics
concerning the Lord and to remain in prayer.
At night my sister-in-law, my brother and I took turns praying the
Rosary with her.
Trying to understand why she was being “harassed”, I
remembered that once she had told me that a friend had taken her to see a
fortune-teller… I suspected that it could have been something she had not
mentioned in [the Sacrament of] Confession.
I asked my spiritual director to help her as a priest. I suppose she must have confessed the
episode because from then on all the harassment disappeared. Even her face changed, reflecting a
noticeable serenity and sweetness, and the friends who would come to pay her a
visit, would say that she seemed another person.
Here I must make a parenthetical remark in order to
encourage those who will read these lines that, if at any time they have been
involved in these things of divination, fortune-telling, magic, witchcraft,
tarot cards, to make a good Confession, because we are never aware of what it
is that we have played with and of the consequences which such actions could
bring into our lives.
Jesus, an ever-living presence
|
D |
uring my prayers on the 23rd, the Lord, knowing
that I was feeling very much alone, spoke to me and said:
“My beloved, here I am, responding to your call. However, not even for an instant have I
abandoned you… You are seemingly alone but I am with you.
“Think of My anguish in the garden; I felt alone.
“Are you afraid?
So was I.
“Do you need to talk to someone? Talk to Me.
“Do you need a hand to caress you? Here are Mine.
“Do you need a shoulder on which to cry? Do so on Mine and I will dry your tears with
My kisses… Your tears will blend with Mine.
I am not indifferent to your sufferings.
“Do you need someone’s company to pray with you? Here you have My Saints and My Angels… Offer
Me your patience in this life of exile and, thus, each time that I come looking
for you, you will be free of grief and able to enjoy great interior peace.
“Place all that is yours solely in My Divine
Will. Allow yourself to be carried by
My Holy Spirit and be grateful for His generous gifts…”
Then, as I often do, I asked the Lord if He was in me,
and I in Him. He replied:
“Yes, you in Me, and I in you, but remember it every
single moment. Now pray Psalm 121…”
First
the Will of God
|
O |
n the 25th, I was very tired due to my
interior suffering, afraid of suffering more.
Then I began to hear the voice of the Holy Virgin:
“Children, you should not fear suffering, because fear
prevents you from doing the Divine Will.
“Above all else you must accept the Will of God
whether you are faced with happy or unwelcomed and unpleasant events.
“You must all ask for a Spirit of permanent prayer so
as to live and lead your existence with courage, out of love for the Lord, even
when life appears bitter and full of sufferings.
“Unhappily, many of My children are searching for one
thing or another, and when they obtain it, they discover that it did not bring
them the happiness which they had hoped for…
“What sadness My maternal Heart feels when they
complain about the people around them and the place where they are currently
living. These children, in whatever
circumstances and with whomever they find themselves, will feel the same way
because the change must come from within themselves.
“Think [My children], that only by overcoming your own
faults and detaching from self will you reach the path of sanctity. Do not make pacts with your faults; instead
attack them, applying wholeheartedly the opposite virtue. Show more concern for others and forget a
little about yourself. Detest sin for
what it truly is: an offence against God and the failure of self.
“My beloved, find refuge for your sufferings in your
celestial Mother’s bosom. I never
abandon you and I pray for your strength.
Think of St. John the Baptist and, like him, bless the maternal womb in
which the Most High set His gaze full of Love.
“Peace, peace, peace… Ask the Lord to grant you the
grace of peace in each moment.”
And so it was, that with much love I approached my
beloved mamma and placing my hand on her womb I said, “Mommy, blessed be your womb, because here God set His sight full
of Love so that you would bring us into life.”
Kissing me she replied, “Blessed are you, love of my
love, because you were a mother to your father and now you are a mother to your
mother…” I believe that the most
beautiful inheritance that I received from both my parents was to hear these
words from them before they died.
That night, after my prayers, as I was saying goodbye
to Jesus, I said to Him: “I will make a deal with You, Lord, that I exchange
for a little while Your Heart for mine… Undoubtedly You will loose but do You
know why I ask it of You? Because if
You give me Your Heart, You will sanctify me, and when You receive my ugly,
small and unworthy heart, as it enters You, equally You will sanctify it…”
Chapter IV
The day of the Sacred Heart, the time to say goodbye
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I |
n the first few minutes of the 27th, the
day of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, at about ten past midnight, I entered into
prayer and the following dialogue ensued.
Jesus said to me:
“Love Me!”
“In whom today do You want me to love You, Lord?”
“In the ones who hurt you.”
“In that case I am going to have to love many.”
“Not as many as those who hurt Me, and I love them.”
I felt a great sweetness. I thought of all the people who had wounded and hurt me. I felt only love. I had every desire to express it and tell it to them all. Undoubtedly that immense love is the Love
that Jesus feels for us all. I said to
the Lord:
“I wanted to be the first person to kiss your Sacred
Heart today.”
Jesus replied:
“At the stroke of twelve, My Heart was kissing yours.
“Remember during this day that I am sustaining you.”
In the morning during my prayers, I said to the Lord
that if I had to choose a day for Him to take my mother, it would be the day of
the Sacred Heart of Jesus, that is, this day.
Then I said something like this to Him: “If You were in my place, You
also would have chosen this day for Your Mother to go to Heaven. Today I hand her over to You with all my
love.”
At 2:45 p.m., more or less, my mother took a change
for the worse. A vein burst in her
esophagus and her agony began.
Different from the previous days, today she awoke lucid, as if to say
all she needed to say. We ran to help
her, and she would calm us down. She
asked that we pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. She would repeat the prayers between spasms in which she was
loosing a lot of blood, but she was completely conscious… And, thus, the pain
began to mix with joy, the fear with trust, the powerlessness with hope and
love… in an atmosphere of devout prayers and hymns.
My spiritual director had to celebrate the Holy Mass
in a parish, so before he left I asked him to administer once more the
[Sacrament of the] Anointing of the Sick.
She received daily Holy Communion preparing herself for this important
moment. She asked the priest for a
blessing and said to him, “Father, always remember me, and do not forget me in
your prayers.”
What we experienced at home will be unforgettable for
all of us who were with mother. We were
able to experience the love of God alive and present in a woman so weak and
fragile.
I only have words of gratitude for the doctor who took
care of my mother during her illness, not only because he is one of the best
specialists we met, but because he lives his Catholic faith and offers a
valuable testimony of life from the practice of his profession. The doctor had to attend a convention, and
because of this we had to call his replacement, but sadly he did not have the
same attitude. As a result, I had to
turn to the Lord every moment so that He would guide us.
I feel it is very important to suggest at this point
that in difficult circumstances a practicing Catholic doctor be found, a doctor
sensitive to the suffering of the family that is gathering around a terminally
ill person. Doctors must understand
that the patients are human beings and that they do not only need a
prescription, but also the closeness, the security, respect and trust, and the
love that a profession of this type requires.
Understanding that the end had arrived, I thought that
we should say our goodbyes to her in a manner deserving to those who live and
die in the grace of God. We started to
pray again, with music of praises playing in the background. She was able to hear some Psalms, religious
hymns and also the Rosary [that we were praying]. Amid her sufferings, she appeared delighted with what she was
hearing.
I could see my brother Eduardo’s pain, and his
suffering hurt me even more because he is a very sensitive person. At a specific moment, I asked my mother for
her blessing, and she gave it to each one of us.
At a certain moment, around 6:30 p.m., she said that
she had to go with “them” and she made a gesture to get up. I said to her to wait a bit, to calm
down. She would stare at me with
dilated pupils, and say, “Now, now! ...”
At first I did not understand her, but after seeing her do the same
thing for two or three times I realized that she wanted to pray the concluding
prayer from the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy, as she would say, “Holy God, my
Mother, my Mother.” At that time, we
invited her to repeat: “Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One… have
mercy on us”, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph, save souls and save my soul”, “Lord,
into Your Hands I commend my spirit”, and she would repeat it several times.
She gave the impression that her soul wanted to leave
her body, but she wanted to go body and soul at the same time, with such
enthusiasm that it truly surprised us.
She began to bleed again from her nose and mouth. We laid her down.
At one point she called the young woman who helps at
home, who had cared for her for nearly four years, and she said to her: “Doris,
take care of my daughter, of my sons.”
Then she said to me, “Now you will be the mother of your brothers, just
as you have been my mother”… At the end, saying her goodbyes, she addressed a
few words to each one of us.
I must go; let me go!
|
S |
he would open her eyes quite wide, as if searching for
something, and repeating: “Father, my spirit…” and again: “now, now! ... We
understood that she wanted to say, “Father, into Your Hands I commend my
spirit.” We helped her and she repeated
it four times… Then, she said: “Do not stop me; I must go; let me go.”
Her hands were very cold between mine. I told her to go without fear into the arms
of Jesus, that it was a wonderful day, the day of the Sacred Heart, that we
were all seeing her off with happiness… I began to sing to her “Beyond the sun, I have a home…” She joined in my song. Then I sung a lullaby and she also
accompanied me. In the mean time, the
others remained in prayer around her, praying the Holy Rosary.
After a few moments she said: “I can not leave! I must first see the Virgin Mary…” We passed her the picture of Our Lady Help
of Christians, and told her: “Here She is.”
But she looked in another direction and replied: “Yes,
She is already here; what is her name?”
My sister-in-law, Anita, asked her:
“Is it Mary Help of Christians?”
She said: “No.” Anita then asked
her if it was Our Lady of Guadalupe.
She replied: “Yes, it is Her; that is Her name… Make room for the
Mamita, give way… Holy God…! My
Mother...! Father into Your
Hands…! And raising her hand, as if to
take hold of the hand of someone we could not see, she fell unconscious. She lasted less than a minute in that
condition, and expired… [Translator’s note: In many Latin American countries
the affectionate term: “Mamita” is used to address the Blessed Mother. It denotes love, respect and the
acknowledgement of Her personal and universal motherhood.]
So much suffering, especially during those last
months, had worn-out her strength. I
believe that we could not have hoped for a more holy and serene death.
Her wake was as humble as she was. We did not want her placed in a casket; we laid
her on her bed, which was rented from the hospital. That led me to meditate once more on how vain is the attachment
to material things, because by the time we are leaving [this world], we, in
truth, have nothing.
We dressed her in a white dress that several days
earlier she had asked insistently that we have ready for her, and the people
from the funeral home arrived to prepare her body. I asked only for a Crucifix with two interior lights, and no
cords or adornments at all, as their gaudiness would have not been in tune with
the family’s mourning and sentiments.
Her wake [in her home] was attended only by
those from my side of the family who live in this city, the core group of our Apostolate,
a very dear friend, Analupe, who arrived from Mexico [City] to accompany my
brother to the Crematorium, and myself.
Amid all this pain, we thanked the Lord for the people
whom my mother loved very much, people like David Lago, who took care of everything
as if he were another son, Dr. William Rosado, who put aside family
commitments, and guided us with all the obligatory medical paper work, Miguel,
Cecilia, Pepe… and the rest of the group, each one with their share of
affection and solidarity.
The priest, who leads our group, celebrated the Mass
for the dead in my mamma’s bedroom, by the bed where she appeared to be asleep.
But our wonderful Lord wanted to give us something
more for her, like a sympathy card sent from Heaven. The Dominican sisters, our much-loved friends so dear to us,
showed up at our house to sing at the Holy Mass. It truly seemed that we were in a place very far away from the
pain and from the earth. At one point
it seemed to us that we were hearing the choirs of Angels themselves.
We watched all night, her dear face was kept
uncovered. A priest arrived to stay
with us for a few hours, a friend who I especially esteemed very much, and who,
very generously, offered his church to celebrate Mass and deposit her ashes.
How much love from the people close to us! Especially from a young lady who I love as
if she were my daughter, and who remained by my side the following 24 hours:
Martha, may God repay you for your kindness of keeping me company.
Yes, there were tears, but not desperate crying. We remained in prayer all night. At 1 p.m. the next day, she was taken to the
Crematorium. I had telephoned an Archbishop
to ask him to instruct me on these things, because in my [native] country it is
not our custom to take these measures and his reply put me at ease in this
regard.
When mom was leaving the house, I went into the
oratory to pray the Holy Rosary with my spiritual director (the blessed man who
the Lord sent to strengthen and save my beloved momma). I knew that only prayer could offer me the
serenity I hoped for. The members of
our Apostolate accompanied her body singing to the Blessed Virgin: “Come walk
with us, Holy Mary, come…”
Later on, the Holy Mass was celebrated in an
atmosphere of profound spiritual joy and peace, in the Divine Mercy
Shrine. There in the crypt, now rested
the remains of this woman who trusted so much in the Mercy of God.
Chapter V
Her inheritance: Charity, Humility, Courage
|
W |
hat we inherit from her is only the love that she left
us, her profound charity for others, her admirable humility that those who knew
her recognised in her, her exemplary courage and the desire to atone for her
faults, in order to be more purified when she reached the arms of our Lord…
I think with a smile: How surprised she must have been
seeing two of her children saying goodbye to her here, and finding the youngest
waiting for her there! I do not stop
giving thanks to the Lord for having His hand on every detail, and to the
wonderful Heart of our Mamma in Heaven, who perfumed my entire home with a
profound scent of flowers from the moment mom began her agony.
The spirit flies towards God
|
A |
round 9 p.m. I prayed in front of a picture of the
Sacred Heart of Jesus. Suddenly it
began to be filled with light. The
Heart began to grow until it reached such a proportion that in front of me
there was only a golden light and nothing else; everything else had
disappeared.
Amid that light I saw a woman, her back to me, dressed
in a long white dress, which appeared to have been made from gauze. It gave me the impression of seeing her
flying but erect, as if running, but without moving her feet. Her long hair reached halfway down her back,
chestnut in color, quite wavy, sprinkled with beautiful natural white flowers,
like pansies.
Flanking her on both sides there were two rows of
people advancing with her. They were
dressed in pastel colored tunics; light blue, pink, green… I hardly notice
them.
Suddenly I thought that the woman could be my mom, but
she was young, and I remembered never having seen her with her hair so long…
for a fraction of a second, she turned to look at me, and I was able to
recognize her! She had a most
beautiful smile but young, very young, while continuing her flight towards that
enormous light, which almost certainly is where you find the Throne of God.
This vision mitigated my pain and I felt a great
peace. I was surrounded by that silence
that I felt at times when some priest, after laying hands upon me, helped me to
know that special state known as “resting in the spirit”.
I must say that during the celebration of the Holy
Mass for the dead, with mom’s body present [in her bedroom], when the priest
was reciting the response saying, “May the Angels lead you into Paradise; may
the martyrs come to welcome you at your arrival and take you into the Holy
City…,” Jesus spoke to me:
“That is what you saw…,” He told me.
I cried out of happiness, grateful to my Lord for each
one of His delicate touches in these moments of so much pain. Thank you Lord, because you take care of
each detail to demonstrate Your infinite love for me!
Pain and Mercy
|
O |
n the 29th day the Lord told me:
“Gold is tested in the burning crucible. All that all of you are living is necessary
for growth… I love you very much. Believe
it and love Me more. Even if you think
that you are incapable of loving more, continue to exert yourself in that for
love is like a rubber container that expands, with the only difference being
that the container never explodes, it is refined until it becomes noble
material.”
Later He continued:
“My desire is for every soul to be holy so it may come
to Me at the moment of its death and remain in the Kingdom that the Father has
prepared for it from all eternity.
However, I desire to purify that soul even on earth, so that, as much as
possible, it not be necessary to purge that which remained to be cleansed in
life. That is why when a person is well
disposed and desires to know Me, to love Me, to make Me known and to be
purified on earth, I do my work as a potter and shape that clay, sometimes
adding some more water to refine the mass, other times hitting or squeezing the
mass to soften it, and when it is ready, I cook it in the burning oven of the
virtues, in order to make that piece soft to the touch, shiny and worthy to be
presented and offered to a King.”
Even though I was certain of having seen my mother’s
journey towards the Throne of the Lord, I kept wondering if her soul had to
expiate for a time in Purgatory… It was then that the Lord told me:
“Why do you allow the devil to sow doubts in your
mind? Trust and pray… None of you will
understand until you are on this side, but even if you are almost certain (as I
have revealed to certain souls) that your deceased ones are already enjoying
Paradise, continue praying for them because in this way you complete what they
lacked or increase what the souls of other persons close to you presented in
their hands when they appeared before Me.
“When I said, ‘Come to Me all you who are burdened or tired…’
I also said it to you. Many things,
which I allow or send, you sometimes find silly or unjust. Faith has to teach all of you that I plan
everything for good. Remember that the
soul, who maintains its peace and faith in the face of adversity, has the right
to expect My Love and its benefits.”
As a special gift from God, we received a visit from
our International Ecclesiastical Advisor, a great friend and a priest very much
anointed by the Lord, who concelebrated a healing and forgiveness Mass with my
spiritual director. There we felt very
strongly the living Presence of Jesus in the love and mercy for this part of
His suffering people.
My family and a married couple, who we love very much
and to whom we will always owe gratitude, participated in this Eucharist. How many things need to be healed in the
soul of every human being! With
gratitude we were able to experience it for ourselves.
Chapter VI
Confession, Death and Transformation
|
T |
en days had passed since my dear mom’s death, when one
morning in my room upon finishing my first prayers for the day, the Lord asked
me to remain there for a few
moments. Suddenly, as if in a movie,
the scene of my mom’s death appeared before my eyes.
Therefore, it will be necessary that I to go back in
my account and to repeat some of the things I have already related. It will enable you to better understand
every thing that had happened on that day, and which the Lord allowed me to see
in full, only afterwards, in the vision that I am about to tell you.
And so I return to the day in which my mom was dying,
just as I could see it in this vision.
She was in her bed.
We had just laid her down on her right side and as I was wiping the
blood that she was losing from her nose, she stared above me toward the window.
She squeezed my hand and said, “I want
to be with you.”
“Are you afraid, my dear mamma?”, I asked her somewhat
worried.
“No, I am not afraid, but I want to be with you.”
At that moment, I saw some people come close behind me
and my mom, to her right side. I
recognised St. Joseph, St. Anthony of Padua, St. Rose of Lima, St. Dominic of
Guzman and St. Silvester. They were
behind mom’s head, next to “Leopoldo’, that was the name of mom’s Guardian
Angel, a very handsome youth, who appeared to be praying on his knees while
caressing her head with his hands.
There were other men and women, young and old, about
40 people, all praying. A young man
dressed in a white alb, carried a little golden bowl in his hands. Every now and then, he would insert his hand
in it and take out smoke, sending it upward like incense.
With that, he appeared to prevent some dark shadows
from coming near, which we could see at a distance from the bedroom, frightened
to advance any closer.
The young man would move his lips as if saying some
prayer. Then he would change the little
bowl to the other hand and do the same with the other, throwing smoke from the
little bowl into the air. He would go
around and around all the people who were encircling my mom’s bed behind
us. I was amazed to see so many
people. Then, Jesus spoke to me and
said:
“They are her patron saints and those souls whom she
helped save with her prayers and sufferings, and even though she did not know
them, they have come to be with her on her journey.”
When we placed her on her other side to change her
clothes, my mom said, “It is time for me to go with them,” as she looked over
my shoulder.
We advised her to calm down. We sang a Psalm to her and she kept repeating it. She opened her eyes almost in wonderment, as
if contemplating something she could not express and said: “Turn on the
light!” We did so, but understanding
that she could no longer see what was on earth, but what was beyond. Then squeezing my hand she said: “Holy God,
now! … Holy God… now!” She seemed to be
coaxing me to pray, to repeat the short prayer: Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy
Immortal One, have Mercy on us and on the whole world!
She would repeat the short prayer over and over while
insisting:
“I must go.”
She moved her feet as if to walk and exclaimed: “Do not stop me”… And
once again she would repeat: “Holy God, Holy Mighty One… Have mercy on me and
the whole world.”
Those of us around her began to pray the Chaplet of
Mercy. But at the same time, she was
repeating her own prayers, insistently exclaiming: “Father, my Spirit! Now! … Now! ...” She could not remember the complete prayer. We began to say: “Father, into Your hands I
entrust my spirit…” understanding that to be what she wanted to say… She
agreeing would repeat our words.
In the vision that I had, I noticed that to mom’s left
side, behind where we were, another group of people began to arrive, and among
them I could recognise my father’s figure, one of my grandmothers, an aunt who
had lived with us, and other people who’s faces I could not clearly see. I was dazzled by what I was seeing, but at
the same time, I was trying to concentrate on my mother.
In front of her a light was lit, and I saw
approaching, as if descending at ceiling height, a choir of Angels
singing. They formed two rows of
celestial characters, and upon reaching us they separated to encircle the
place. Everything was very solemn. At that moment mom said, as if addressing
the people that I am sure had come to accompany her journey:
“Wait, I need to see first the Holy Virgin! ”
My brother
said: “Mommy, the Lord is here. He is waiting for you…” He said that because earlier my mother had
mentioned seeing the Lord. And she
replied, “I still have to see the Holy Virgin…”
Many times she had heard that the Blessed Virgin
collected the souls of those who awaited death praying the Rosary.
We gave her the picture of Mary Help of Christians so
that she could look at the Holy Virgin, thinking that was what she wanted to
see. But she was looking above the
picture. It seemed to us that she could
no longer see the things of this world, but the things of the other… Suddenly
she said, “I see her there; there she is… Give way to the Mamita! We must ask forgiveness from the Holy Virgin…”
The tender embrace of the Mother
At that instant I saw the Holy Virgin coming down from
Heaven. She positioned herself at my
mother’s feet, while remaining suspended in mid air. I saw her extending her hands towards my mom. In one of her arms the Holy Virgin was
carrying a white dress. My mother
extended a hand as if to receive or to touch something. I noticed how the Holy Virgin took her hand. Mom lost consciousness at that moment, for
less than a minute, and, then, she expired.
When her head became still on my hand as I was holding
it, I thought that the whole vision would disappear, but immediately I
witnessed the instant in which my mother’s soul arose, separating itself from
her body.
She advanced towards the Holy Virgin, who at that
moment gave her the white dress with both hands, as if measuring it for size
over the nightgown she was wearing. My
mom immediately appeared clothed in that dress. The Holy Virgin had a lot of gentleness in Her expression. She was smiling and embraced my mom, placing
her arm on my mom’s mid back. My mother
in turn did the same, leaning her head on the Holy Virgin’s shoulder, and they
ascended together with the entourage of people who accompanied the scene.
The bedroom became almost empty. St. Joseph looked at us. He touched St. Silvestre’s hand and St.
Silvestre imparted a blessing upon all of us all. He then turned and left, followed by St. Joseph.
Very solemnly Jesus said to me:
“Tell it to the world, so that all men value the Grace
offered at being present with the dying who depart assisted by Heaven. One’s absorption with that moment must be
absolute, since part of Heaven is in that room. It is the moment in which God visits that place.”
When the vision was over, I knelt down crying to give
thanks to God for His having gifted us with all this grace and having allowed
me to see this marvel. A marvel which
today I can relate to the world so that they realize the importance and the
duty which we have to help our dear ones who are dying, and all others who are
dying, so that they can begin happily their journey towards the eternity of the
Love of God.
Chapter VII
An urgent call: Assistance to the dying
|
S |
ome days later as I prayed the Chaplet of Divine
Mercy, I heard the voice of the Lord saying to me:
“Pay attention to what you are going to see. Do not fear, but it is necessary that you
see it.”
At that moment I had the vision of a hospital
room. There was a gentleman, of about
50 to 65 years old. (I could not better
determine his age because he looked sick and haggard.)
There where several people near him, some were crying,
but they were all awaiting his death.
Desperate crying could be heard; the man’s body was contorting with
pain. He knew that he was dying. One could see that he was annoyed for he was
angrily saying while shaking his body violently:
“Why am I to die…!
How can God allow for me to die…!
Do something… I do not want to die!”
He was rebelling before the imminence of death. One could tell his conflict, his torture,
and his lack of peace. And it made an
impression on me to see that the people who were with him, did not contribute
anything to bring peace to this soul.
No one was praying.
In the exterior corridor, I recognized a little patio
where some people were talking and laughing, some were drinking and
smoking. They were completely unaware
of the sublime moment that sick man close to them was living with
conflict. That overall scene could have
been any daily social event.
Then I saw a nun coming and the Lord told me:
“She has been sent by My Mother.”
I then could see the Holy Virgin contemplating the
scene at a distance, with Her hands together praying, while tears ran down Her
face. There was an angel with a very
sad look next to the sick man. With one
hand he was covering his face, and with the other hand he was touching the sick
man. Then the angel stood up and, with
his hands, he tried to clear away the many shadows that were approaching the
man. These shapes were distorted, like
having heads of a deer, bears, and horses.
I could not see with more clarity because they were shadows.
When the nun entered the room, she approached the bed
and took the hand of the dying man. She
attempted to give him a holy card telling him something. The man raised his hand in a sign of refusal. The nun insisted once again offering him the
holy card but, with the little breath left in him, the dying man became
agitated, shaking his hands at her in a sign of rejection. He cried out annoyed. The nun left the room very sad.
In the corridor she took her rosary and began to
pray. The people who looked at her,
smiled in a mocking way. They did not
consider in the least the importance that her prayers would have in this most
delicate moment. She invited them to
pray but their eyes and grimaces revealed clearly their rejection.
A few minutes later the man died. I could see that when his soul was arising
all those shadows jumped on him, each one pulling and tugging, like ferocious
animals, wolves, dogs, who were tearing apart their prey. Suddenly the Angel stood in front of them
and raising his hand, ordered:
“Stop! Let him
go. First he must present himself
before the Throne of God to be judged!”
Some people began crying around the deceased in a very
desperate way, or better said, in a hysterical way.
I then understood the difference that there is when we
say goodbye to a soul who is at peace and who departs with its hope resting in
the Mercy of God.
Part Two:
The Sacrament of Reconciliation
“What man of you that hath a hundred sheep:
and if he shall lose one of them, doth he not leave the ninety-nine in the
desert, and go after that which was lost, until he find it? And when he hath found it, lay it upon his
shoulders, rejoicing: And coming home,
call together his friends and neighbours, saying to them: Rejoice with me,
because I have found my sheep that was lost?
I say to you, that even so there shall be joy in heaven upon one sinner
that doth penance, more than upon ninety-nine just who need not penance.” (Lk
15:4-8)
Chapter VIII
You take away the sins of the world…
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n Tuesday July 8th, we travelled to Cozumel
because we had been invited to speak there at a conference. The Lord dictated to me a message for a
young lady, saying:
“Tell her that I have waited for a long time for this
moment and I await her surrender.”
She was a young lady who had gone looking for our
spiritual director to make her life’s confession. When I handed her the message she cried. Then the Lord asked me to help her.
We spoke until the arrival of the priest. When they left the room together, heading
toward another for the [Sacrament of] Confession, I saw unexpectedly that there
were a great number of people around her, possibly ten or twelve who wanted to enter
with her into the [confessional] room.
I was surprised to see that but soon understood it to be a mystical
experience and I began to pray.
You could hear, on the one hand, some voices speaking
loudly and with music to the rhythm of drums that was shocking. And at the same time you could hear a choir,
people singing the Ave of Fatima, and another choir sang in the distance:
“Glory and praise to God the Creator, to the Son the Redeemer, and to the Holy
Spirit…!”
I knelt down and asked the Lord to enlighten that
Confession. Suddenly I heard the rumble
of many people screaming. I immediately
looked towards the place where all the noise was coming from, and it was the
balcony of the room where the young lady was having her confession heard.
What I saw was frightful: absolutely unpleasant
figures, deformed creatures that would go out running and screaming, throwing
themselves from the balcony into the empty space bellow. As I reached my window to see the fall, which
was my first impulse, I no longer saw anybody.
At that moment the friend, who had asked Father [the
spiritual director] to hear her [the young lady’s] confession, came in and we
both could clearly hear the noise from chains and rubbing of metal that seemed
to be ripping off the roof and walls.
We began to pray, and I told him not to be afraid, that they were the
typical noises and annoyances from the devil because he had a soul being taken
away from him. He accompanied me for
some minutes in prayer and then he had to leave.
I remained alone in prayer for a few minutes. I do not know for how many, and suddenly a
light made me open my eyes. I realized
that the wall in front of me, which separated my room from the room in which
the confession was being heard, had disappeared.
I could see then the young lady seated in Confession,
but not in front of the priest, but in front of Jesus Himself. I did not see the priest; it was Jesus who
had taken his place. Our Lord was
visible from the side with His hands entwined, as in a praying position, and
His chin resting on them, listening attentively.
Behind the young woman and near the door of the room,
was a group of people. Among them I
could make out a nun dressed in blue with a black veil. Next to her an Angel stood out with very
large wings, a very majestic character with a very big lance in his right hand,
looking left and right on the alert. I
thought that it might be St. Michael the Archangel or one of his captains from
his Celestial Militia.
In the background, to the right hand side of Jesus and
the young lady in Confession, I recognised the Virgin Mary, standing, dressed
like Our Lady of Perpetual Help, in a gown that seemed of silk, pearl in color,
with a dark yellow or caramel mantle with the emblems usually associated with
that image.
Two very tall Angels stood and held their lances in
one hand, watching attentively, in the same way as the Angel at the door. They were vigilant and alert, as guarding
the Blessed Virgin, who remained standing with her hands in prayer, looking
towards Heaven, while the Angels appeared to be guarding the whole place.
There were many small Angels that went and came, as if
they were transparent. At a certain
moment, Jesus raised His right hand, positioning His palm a certain distance
from the young woman’s head. His whole
hand was full of light from which golden rays were coming out and covering her
entirely in all splendour, transforming her.
I could see how the face of the penitent was changing progressively, as
if someone was removing a mask from her… I saw how the hard face from before
was transforming itself into another, a more noble, sweet, and peaceful one.
At the instant that Jesus was imparting absolution,
the Holy Virgin genuflected and bowed Her head and all the beings that were
around Her did the same. Jesus stood
up, approached the penitent, and, just then, I could just see the priest seated
where Jesus was before.
The Lord embraced the young lady and kissed her
cheek. He then turned around, embraced
the priest and also kissed his cheek.
At that instant, everything filled with an intense light, which
disappeared as it ascending towards the ceiling at the same time that the whole
vision was disappearing and I was once again looking at my wall.
After having presented me with such an exceptional mystical
experience, the Lord spoke to me and said:
“If you [My children] only knew how a soul who has made
a good confession is transformed, all those near it would welcome this soul on
their knees, because by virtue of sanctifying grace, such a soul is filled with
the Holy Spirit.”
When the young woman came out of Confession, I felt a
true desire to kneel before her, but instead I embraced her with all my love,
for I knew that I was embracing the person who earlier had been embraced by the
Lord. She looked different, much
younger and very happy. I told
everything to my spiritual director, and we both remained in prayer, giving
thanks to God.
That night the Lord asked me to prepare to write down
everything that I had seen in a publication dedicated to the Sacrament of
Mercy, Reconciliation, which is this present text.
Chapter IX
The delicate moment of Reconciliation
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T |
wo days later, the Lord said that we would continue
with our work, and suddenly I found my self in a church, in front of a group of
people waiting their turn to go to Confession.
There, before my eyes, appeared many shadows, figures
with human bodies and animal heads.
These were in the process of lassoing with ropes a certain person who
was going to the confessional. The
ropes were being thrown around the person’s neck and forehead, while they
whispered something in his ear.
Suddenly one of those shadows discreetly separated
itself from the rest and took the shape of a woman, dressed and made up in a
very provocative way passing in front of the man who was walking to the
confessional. He became distracted, and
held his eyes on her. Those horrible
beings were pleased and they laughed loudly.
An angel was fighting with his hands, trying to push away those wild
beasts.
Another person waiting for Confession, a very quiet
and humble young lady, with a small prayer book in her hands, was reading and
then meditating. The shadows approached
her only at a certain distance but they could not lasso her. It seemed, I thought, as if the angel with
her was stronger than those shadows.
I remained observing, and when this young woman
finished her Confession, she was no longer dressed the same as before. She wore a long gown of a pearl color,
almost white, with a tiara of flowers on her head. Four angels who followed her to the Altar surrounded her. Her face was full of peace. There she kneeled to pray, surely her
penance, and the angels remained with their hands together in prayer. Then the vision was over and I again saw the
furniture in my house.
The Lord said to me:
“You have just seen two persons going to the Sacrament
of Reconciliation. One who, distracted
and without any previous preparation, proceeded to the confessional. In such circumstances, anything that those
evil spirits will do, gathers greater strength.
“On the other hand, the young lady was praying,
preparing her confession, asking assistance from Heaven. That is why the devil could not get near her
and her guardian angel could work better in her defense, since she invoked
him.”
Then He added:
“Everyone should pray for those who go to confession,
so that they may make a good confession, because it could be the last one they
make in their life. “
He made me understand that all the people who remain
in the church could also help with their prayers, interceding for the confessor
and for those who go to Confession. I
was surprised that He requested prayers for the priest, because days before I
personally saw that it was Jesus who forgave in place of the priest.
Then Jesus said:
“Of course they also need prayers. They also are exposed to temptations, to
distractions, to fatigue. Remember that
they are human beings.”
The gift granted to a priest
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D |
uring the night, the Lord educated me about what
happens when a person requests Confession and the priest does not grant it due
to negligence or carelessness. This is
what Jesus said:
“If a soul searches for a priest seeking Confession,
unless it is a case of grave impediment, it is compulsory for the priest to
hear the confession of the faithful.
This is because if that sinner dies, he is immediately received into
Heaven by virtue of his repentance and desire for his purification. I Myself will absolve him.
“But the priest who refused to confess the sinner, for
comfort or negligence, without a justifiable reason before God, will have to
answer before the Divine Justice. He
will have to give account for a very serious fault, as much as if he were
culpable for the sins he refused to listen to and to forgive, unless he has
confessed and amended his fault.
“The priest has received gifts which have not even
been conferred upon My Mother. He is
united to Me and he works in Me.
Therefore, he deserves much respect from the person who seeks the
Sacrament, respect in how one treats him, in the way in which one dresses, in
the manner in which one accepts his advice and in the penance imposed.
“That is why I ask for prayers for priests, so that
faithful to their vocation and to the Grace that has been conferred upon them
in My own Person, (in Persona Christi), they grant pardon and mercy to the
souls.
“Remember, My daughter, that on earth everything has a
relative value. Some things may have a
very high material value and if someone looses them, that person ends up in
economic ruin… but that is all. They
can attempt to recover all, or at least part of the loss. But, if you loose your soul, nothing will
ever be able to save it from the eternal fire.”
A brief concluding reflection
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B |
rother, sister, you who have arrived at this point of
my testimony, have you asked yourself: how long has it been since you have made
a good and conscientious Confession?
If our Lord had to call you at this very moment, do
you think that you would be saved? Have
you dedicated yourself conscientiously to the things of God? Or have you been a comfortable, part-time
Christian attending Sunday Mass, more out of habit or appearances than
authentic fervour? Have you asked yourself
how many souls you have helped save?
Have you always been careful to receive the Sacred Eucharist in the
grace of God, or are you one of those who think that you should have to confess
yourself only before God and not to a priest?
While you read these lines, there will be someone who
will be offering a prayer for you, so that at the moment of your death, which
will inevitably come, you may not be deprived of the assistance received from
the Sacraments. Thus, with your
departure, there will be celebration in Heaven and on earth and you will not
experience fear, but love and joy!
Open the doors of your heart to the Grace and the
forgiveness that we all need! Ask for
the help of the Virgin Mary, for living from today onward in conformity to the
Will of the Father!
I desire this for you, in the Merciful Love of Jesus,
Catalina
Lay Missionary of the Eucharistic Heart of Jesus.
July 18, 2003,
Day of the Precious Blood of Jesus.
Note from the Publishers
This book is private property; nevertheless, copying is
permitted, provided the design is respected, and the cover, text and content
remain intact and the same.
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[Back Cover]
Death does not constitute the frustration of
life. It is rather “the birth to
eternal life”. But man rebels, he
defies, and in many cases he rejects it, demonstrating an inadequate
preparation to face an outcome that directs the destiny of his soul, to live
eternity close to God or to definitively distance himself from Him.
This perspective is inscribed in the existence of
every man from his conception, be he a believer or not… We must all face death
and there our destiny will cease to be defined.
Starting from the story of some events lived by the
author, this book seeks to transmit a new perspective for that “inevitable
journey” for all humanity. From the
point of view of Faith, this is a real help to find in God the Peace, which can
give us back hope.
At the end of the path, our closeness or our distance
from God will mark the real success or failure, the finality and importance of
our life.
Apostolate of the New Evangelization (ANE)
July 2003
www.a-n-e.net www.jesucristovivo.org
Calle 1-H No. 104 esquina 20
Col. Mexico Norte,
C.P. 97128
Telephones : (52) (999) 9444-05-40
Fax: (52) (999) 948-17-77
Merida, Yucatan, Mexico.